Letters to Lucy - Winnie the Pooh

Dear Pooh Bear,

You kind of, sorta crawled last week. Or maybe you didn't. I saw you inching your way forward on your knees. I put a toy right in front of you. You stared at it and made an effort to get it and then you just kind of sat there and thought about it for a long time. I could tell you were contemplating reaching for the toy and all the effort that would go into the venture. You decided to roll over instead...smart decision. I sometimes feel like I'm training a puppy with you down on the floor and me waving and clapping in front of your face yelping "Come on girl. Come and get it girl!" I'm sure you're just enamored with my antics.

You started really rolling over more often. I put you in the crib the other day just as I always do and I came in and somehow you had rolled yourself over and to the center of the crib and gotten your head under the decorative blanket. It freaked me out. I'm glad you're able to roll but it just happened one day and I wasn't expecting it. Sometimes you roll over on your face and you stay there as if you don't mind. I wonder if it's just too much effort to get back to the original position.

You remind me so much of Winnie the Pooh. He had great intentions for going out and getting honey and doing his tasks but most of the time he got stuck in a predicament and just muttered to himself "Oh Bother." And then he'd go on his merry way. He wasn't worried about much at all. He wasn't depressed and down like Eeyore the donkey or fretting around like Rabbit. He just basically was his cuddly wuddly rolly polly old self. Your whole nursery is decorated like the Hundred Acre Woods from Winnie the Pooh. I wanted you to be surrounded by all the wonderful characters that I loved as a child. I took that video with me to college and whenever I was sad. I would pop in the movie and pretend my bottom bunk bed was like Pooh's tree house in the Hundred Acre Woods. It was always a good day there with Pooh and all of his friends.

I think I'm more like Rabbit and you're more like Pooh. We're a good match. You just love to eat and cuddle. Please Lucy, please let me cuddle with you when you're grown up. I just don't think I could bear the thought on not scooping you up in my arms and holding you close. It's different when you're older I know. I wonder if my mom ever looks at me that way. Does she see me as her little baby still? Cuddling with you is my pure joy in life.

Your father is definitely a "Pooh "like you. If you feed him and let him nap. He's good to go in life. That's basically all he needs. Why can't I be that simple? I think if I left you and Daddy alone the two of you would have a grand old time never leaving the bed. Well as a matter of fact that sounds like a lovely day. I should take more days of doing nothing and just enjoy this time with you. Why can't I do that? I'm always rush, rush, rush. I'm always thinking and planning. It's like I have this ticker in my head and it won't go off.

Sometimes when I hold you and we're playing the world does stop for awhile. You're one of the only people in the world that can have that effect on me. I can stare at you when you're playing or sleeping and just be so in the moment. The world stands still. It's just a learning process I'm going through right now in learning to be that way more than once every so often. I don't want to miss these incredible moments you're giving me because I'm worrying about a phone call or an email that needs to be written. For instance, you just love to suck on your fingers. It gives you sheer delight and I could sit there and watch you forever just taste each and every finger one by one. It's like they are flavored with strawberry or something. You love them so much. I will take your hand out of your mouth but then you just put it right back in. It's hilarious. I hope I'm not missing these moments by being as Pooh would say "a silly old Rabbit!"

There's another character like that in the storybook "Alice in Wonderland" called the White Rabbit. He's always singing "I'm late, I'm late for a very important date. No time to say hello good bye I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!" Why are rabbits always in a hurry? They're faster than all the other animals but they're still stressed about it. Hmmm...yep...I'm a rabbit for sure. I hope you don't grow up to be a rabbit. Stay the cute little "Pooh Bear" that you are. Life is nicer that way. Believe me.

When we went to Mommy and Me the other day there was this other little girl about your age who was completely round. She could sit by herself. Being the competitive mom that I am, I tried to make you sit by yourself but you refused to bend your knees. You'd much rather have me hold you and stand. When you finally do sit you just totter right over to one side and laugh. I know this whole thing amuses you to no end that all these adults are trying to make you move in ways you're just not that interested in.

You're perfectly content to just lie there on your back and watch the clouds that we painted on the ceiling. In fact you love ceilings and anything on the especially lights and fans. You will sit there for hours just staring at a light on the ceiling. I wish my life was that simple. Maybe I should take more time to just stare at the ceiling. Do you find it relaxing?

Your whole world seems relaxed to me and I somewhat jealous. I know the whole teething thing is no piece of cake but you don't seem to let it get you down. I also realize when you have that gas pain in your tummy it must hurt a lot. I ate salami the other day for lunch, about 5 pieces. I'm sorry because I think it bothered your stomach that night. I didn't think about it. I ate it all the time when I was prego with you in my belly. I'm so sorry honey. I won't eat salami anymore.

Love,
Rabbit