Letters to Lucy - Mommy Magic

Dear Little One,

I realized I have magical powers tonight. You were so sad and crying uncontrollably. People would say you were "teething" or have "baby gas" or a myriad of other issues. But all I know is that when I stuck my pinky finger in your mouth you happily accepted it and then sucked and sucked with all your might. You smiled at me as if to say "Thanks Mom!" and then you closed your eyes in pure bliss and drifted off to dreamland. I realize I have that power in my little finger and also in my very own bosom as you nurse for your food. I can make it all better very quickly. If only I could keep that "magic finger" for when your first boyfriend breaks up with you with a note in gym class, or the other girls don't pick you for their kickball team, or any of the other terrors I fear you will have to face before you make it through adolescence. Oh it can be so hard. I know this from firsthand experience. I pray to God of course you will never have to go through any pain or trial whatsoever. But unless Jesus comes back first I'm pretty convinced every day of your life won't be a total cakewalk.

You'll probably be blessed with my sense of humor which has been described as "inappropriate or lethal wit" at times. That can get you into trouble. The rule of thumb my dear is "sometimes we think things that are funny in our heads but we don't have to say them out loud!" As I watch you sleeping and kiss your forehead. I wish there was a way for me to permanently attach my lips to your soft little brow for the next 20 years or so. I wonder if my mom felt that way about me. I wonder if she thought her kisses could bring healing throughout my childhood and growing up years. I know there is nothing quite like a mother's hug or even now a mother's encouraging words. I think that is why so many daughters just crave to hear the words "I'm so proud you're my daughter" from our moms even when we're all grown up. Because you my dear will always be my little baby.

I will always want to be there to make the bad things in this world go away. I'll use my pinky finger, my lips, my mind or my whole body if needed to shield you from harm and heartache. I wish my kisses could be contracts to promise that you'll never be hurt. But alas I don't think that's completely true. I just wanted you to know as long as I'm able and on this earth. I'll keep kissing you, singing you made up lullabies because I don't know the words to the real ones. I'll keep pulling the car over to make sure you're still breathing in the back seat when you're quiet. I'll keep rocking you at 3:00am and doing whatever I can to make your tears go away, even when you're 33.