What's In Those Pies Mary Ann?

I realize in this blog I'm usually defending Christians in entertainment and saying how we always get a bad rap from the press. I'm convinced you should never believe most of the stuff you read about celebrities because the media's only concern is to sell the story. But seriously folks...seriously, sometimes the story is just too good to mess with.

Our dear sweet Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island i.e. Christian actress Dawn Wells got busted for having four marijuana joints in her car on March 11th, 2008. It was her 69th birthday and she was driving home from her party when an officer noticed her swerving on the road. He pulled her over and smelled the marijuana. She told him she had picked up three hitchhikers that must have been smoking it and she didn't know what it was (Very Christian). He arrested her and took her to the other "joint"!

The next day after she posted bail and her "friend" testified he was the one who left one of the joints in Dawn's car the day before. I don't know about you but if I was her "friend" I wouldn't want to be referred to some "hitchhiker". And what happened to the other three mystery joints? Was she burning prayer candles with them?

So we have two totally different stories going on here and both of them seem completely fishy. I feel like we're playing a bad game of "Clue" except this is the Gilligan's Island version. "It was the professor and Mary Ann ...with the pipe ...down by the lagoon...I mean freeway..." And why does it always seem to be the actor who has professed to be a practicing Christian that gets caught? So one of our own, again, has a scandal to overcome. But wait a minute? What if it's not Mary Ann's fault?

And come to think about it everyone was in a good mood after eating one of Mary Ann's special pies on the island. What if everyone was involved in a cartel of Marijuana on that "Three Hour Tour"? The Howell's were the Drug Lords, the professor prepared the joints, Ginger was the celebrity decoy, Skipper was in charge of shipments and Gilligan was quality control/tester. Maybe he's the one that got sweet little Mary Ann mixed up in all of this? Was Gilligan that hitchhiker? He did also play Maynard G. Krebbs on the "Dobie Gillis Show" the most stoned character on TV until Shaggy from "Scooby Doo" hit the scene. Gilligan was sneaking pot into Mary Ann's pies!

Come on people do the math! Poor Mary Ann was framed! That fateful night those castaways asked sweet Mary Ann for a ride and how could she turn them down since they'd bonded for so many years on that island. It's all a big Hollywood scandal and Mary Ann deserves the same treatment as Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton. She now needs a book deal and a publicity tour about all that she's learned in prison and she'll soon be starring in her own Lifetime Movie of the week "When Pie is Not Enough; Baked and Broken - the Dawn Wells Story", Starring Dawn Wells. Just remember the next time you see a 3 letter crossword clue asking for a word to describe Mary Ann and it starts with "P"...you might want to reconsider before you write down P I E! I hope you readers know this article was written all in good fun. Ms. Wells has gotten her share of bad press lately and I just want us all to remember we're human and we make mistakes. Jesus said "Those to cast the first stone...not those who never get stoned!" Don't be so quick to judge or maybe you'll be the one in the STAR paper next month.