Tuesday, October 24, 2006

She Broke Up with Me

Have you ever been broken up with? It sucks..but what about when it's by a friend..not a boyfriend. Isn't that worse? I mean it may not be as formal but you know when you're being dumped. I confess I've done it...in my pride I've had friends who I felt were hurting my feelings too many times and I just severed our ties. So why would I be upset when I'm the dumpee?

I had this friend name Cindi and we met pretty soon after I moved to LA. She was Christian and so was I...respectively...ha ha. We prayed together..we partied together..we drank together...and somewhere in those years we both found that God had a better way to do things and we straightened up our acts. We probably stayed friends because we had too much dirt on the other one to want to be enemies! Well one day after many dates and dramas Cindi went and did the unthinkable. She fell in love with a wonderful guy and got married. How dare she? Then she kinda dumped. Me since I would not be able to relate to her woes now of picking out curtains for her new home or all that sex she would be having. I guess she thought we didn't have much to talk about it. Funny thing..we used to double date with her fiancee and me and my ex and then the night he broke up with me she got engaged. No I didn't go to the party!

So I was "bitter party of one" and we remained cordial. I cried at the wedding and life went on. We were both in the same crazy business of Hollywood and I have to admit we did spur eachother on with a healthy sense of competition. I don't think it was ever concious competition but it existed for sure. I made a promise to myself never to be "that girl" the one who couples up and forgets her friends. I actually kept it. I always valued my girlfriends and they've gotten me through more break ups than I care to admit.

Fast forward a few years....we went out seperate ways professionally but stayed in touch a bit. I got married. I thought we'd have lots to talk about now . And I sent several emails and maybe made a call or two. None were returned. Go figure. I got over it...or so I thought.

I've been very blessed in my ministry and career and now have a very full life with more girlfriends who love and pray for me than I can ever ask for. But I heard that I'll be seeing her tonight. My friend is bringing Cindi to one of my comedy shows. It's literally been years and the first thought was "Wow...Cindi's coming? She broke up with me!" Then I turn into an 8th grader wanting to look really good...be really talented and win this competition in my twisted little mind with Cindi that I've risen above our friendship and I'm doing just fine and she should be jealous of me! Yes I said it..I can feel you judging me through the computer...but don't lie..you've done it to! Ok maybe not but I'm crazy..we know this!

Then I took a step back and remembered the same message I'm running around the country preaching. Stop trying to fit in..it's not about being loved and popular. When did Jesus win Ms. Congeniality? He was despised and rejected. For whatever reason he was disliked by many. And I'm suppossed to be looking to HIm for my validation not people. So I'm working on it...praying for a good night. Who knows what will happen? But I think I'll still wear my skinny jeans! And make my husband wear a ''good shirt"! So Sue me!