Friday, January 12, 2007


Ok yesteday I was running around to interviews with Ron my husband.He just signed with my commercial agency in Beverly Hills so we had to go meet them. I dressed him..he looked nice. Then we had another meeting in Orange County. I had gotten dressed that morning in my tall black boots and cute little pants etc...well I didn't realize how little the pants had become since my complete binging over the holidays. They have obviously shrunk in my closet.
I told Ron I needed to stop by the mall and get a new outfit. I was not comfortable.
So I ran over to the Jr. section in Macys. I spent 15 mins browsing all the sixe 6x outfits before realizing I'm living a dream Why am I still shopping in Jr's when Im clearly way over the age demographic? Trixie the 14 yr old sales girl called me mam. ( spell?)
I grabbed some jeans and a couple sweaters and went into the dressing room. This is where it gets sad. These jeans not only were too small. They helped me realize that me fitting into a size 3 in Jr's just isn't going to ever happen again.I could do pilates of whatever the kids are doing today but it's just not worth it. I grabbed some chocolate from my purse and continued my emotional eating as I looked into the oh so flattering three way mirror and made a mental note to actual start working out at some point in 2007. I also decided I would write the word" FATTY" on my hand every day to remind me to stop eating myself into a coma.
Then I go outside and try on some accessories. I realize these same things were in style when I was in high school. I should have kept them
I put on a green headband. It was too tight. Now HOW FAT are you when the flippin headband is too small? That is pathetic.
I went right over to Ann Taylor where I feel skinny. They mark down all the sizes to make me feel thin. I put on a size 4 and it fits. But I realize I'm buying my first set of "FAT PANTS" ya know the ones that are sweat pants disguised as regular pants. It's a beautiful concept and who needs to wear jeans? Maybe I can go over to Talbots and get some MOM jeans that come up to my rib cage. Is that where this is heading?
Maybe I should just go over to Chico's like my mom and just start wearing beaded necklaces and flowing skirts and gaucho pants. Is that the answer? I'm old and fat. And I really don't care...or do I ?Ron is on the cell phone and as long as he's talking I'm going to keep buying clothes because I'm in a crisis.
I got two pairs of "FAT Pants" both in "FAT PANTS COLOR BLACK" as if there's any other. And head out the door.
Then we went out to dinner and I gorged myself into another food coma. I was going to come home and work out but "Biggest Loser" was on and I sat on the couch and ate some more.It was just one of those days.