Do You Ever Want To Sell Your Baby On EBay By Kerri Pomarolli

I'm kinda kidding when I say I'm considering putting my almost 2 year old up for auction on EBay. Is that cruel to say? I could just put her on Craig's list and sell her to someone local in case I want to visit. No seriously, has your child ever made you so mad you just think about throwing in the towel on this whole parenting thing? Have you come home to find sharpie artwork on your new suede couch or all your favorite perfume poured down the toilet? Today was one of those days- !

I was making Lucy's favorite blue Jello today - #1.Because I don't really cook and Jello is easy to make. # 2. Because I'm awesome! I put the Jello in little ice cube trays and put them in the fridge. Behind me my lovely submissive daughter was quietly eating watermelon and drinking her milk. Don't you just love those moments when all is right with the world.

The phone rang as I started to fill the last Jello mold. As I answered the phone, I turned around to see watermelon all over the floor along with spilled milk. Cleverly, Lucy had taken the top off the sippy cup. I promised myself when I had a child I wouldn't punish them and freak out over little things like "spilled milk." I contemplated putting the watermelon back as she was trying to eat it off the floor. But I decided for the sake of cleanliness I would have her put it in the bowl and then trash it. I know there are starving kids in the world but I hadn't mopped in a while and I didn't feel like taking her to the Dr. because she ate watermelon off my dirty floor and get some weird parasite or something.

So I sweetly told her to do "clean up " and put it all back. She kinda- sorta started to do it. Then she grabbed more and stuffed it in her mouth. This was her version of cleaning?! Then she grabbed my shoe. I got the paper towels and told her to wipe up the milk. She decided it would be easier to do it with her feet while standing on the paper towels. Hmmm, I wonder where she learned that - she really does pay attention to mommy!

I continued talking to my friend on the phone assuming Lucy was doing her Cinderella clean up routine. Just then I hear "Oh no !" from her little mouth. I looked behind me to see the opened refrigerator and a waterfall of blue Jello cascading all over inside, all over the food, into the drawers and down into every crevice of my fridge and onto the floor mixing with the already spilled milk to make the most disgusting green sludge mess you have ever seen.

I absolutely lost my mind for a second. I hung up the phone and yelled
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LUCY! Look what you did! Look what you did!" She's looking at me as if to say "Yeah mom I did it but you're cleaning it up!" Her shirt, that was clean this morning, was now covered with pink watermelon stains and blue Jello streaks. I thought in a moment of insanity that I could convince her to clean all of this up. I used up all the paper towels and went to get more in the closet. But my loving husband put the rest of them on the top shelf where I can't reach them and he's gone. Perfect!

I sat there cleaning and telling her to help me at least pick up the watermelon. She looked at me with this smirk on her face, toddler tunes blaring in the background, she did the unthinkable. She started to dance and sing! I'm thinking "What? Are you serious? "Then after her performance we had a stare down contest to see who would break first, me or the cute adorable kid. I had to bite my lip because she knew I was about to crack a smile and give her victory. I didn't budge and neither did she. She just kept staring at me with that "I know I'm cute and you can't be mad at me" look that she does so well. I think she learned that from her father. Just then, I realized she was right. I could lose my temper over spilled Jello but she wouldn't hold a grudge . She wasn't mad at me and I couldn't be mad at this little person that's been messing up my house for the past two years. She was too cute, too endearing and too smart. I took the pink onesie off then put her down for a nap in her crib. As I write this she's now singing Betty Boop songs and rolling around her crib talking to her dolls. It's adorable. She kills me every time!

I think I need to learn more from this little munchkin.
We never need to cry over spilled milk or Jello. We always have more than enough to eat because we're blessed. When engaged in conflict with the enemy just give them that million dollar smile and sing some toddler tune like "Oh my darling Oh my darling ,then add your own lyrics and start clapping and say YAY! All Done!" You most certainly can diffuse even the toughest foes anger...even mom!


Kerri Pomarolli is well known amongst the Christian powerhouses and spiritual warriors in Hollywood. An entertainment veteran, she has performed on the same stage as the biggest names in comedy and has been seen on the small screen many times including The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Comedy Central, ABC Family, Lifetime, NBC and many more. Pomarolli recently finished filming the outrageously funny comedy ENGAGED, set to hit the small screen. She has written 3 published books including Guys Like Girls Named Jennie that is being considered as a romantic comedy. Pomarolli’s books are well known to both secular and Christian readers and her award winning articles appear in newspapers and national magazines. Provocative and passionate, Kerri is a devout Christian who continues to lead outreach through humor. She tours extensively throughout the United States and Canada to Churches, Corporate, and today’s top comedy clubs. Kerri is in high demand as a standup comedian and emcee as well as an actor, inspirational speaker and writer. Watch for Kerri in the documentary HOLLYWOOD ON FIRE that includes some of today's and yesterday's well known celebrities. You can also see her every Tuesday at 4:00 PM EST on Momtv.com www.kerripom.com

Kerri's New Blog from Africa I think I Got What I Came Here For.....

I knew coming over here..God would break my heart..I prayed for it..asked for it. So much has happened but words escape me.

We attended church today and I saw God..I heard God..in the singing..in the words...in the words over the church wall "The curse is broken the future is Bright." I pray God will give me time to process all of this...so I can properly share.

Today I went to a junkyard...a real junkyard...nothing there...and outcome 7 little faces....7 children..twins that are 3 up to 14 years old... a family of children that live there.

Their mom is a prostitute and dad a drug dealer. They raise themselves...they walk to school. We brought them sandwiches. This is the only food they may get for a week. They are not in the orphanages because they have parents so the law won't allow it. The plan for this family is that when the new home is built ...they will all move in as a family. Strangely enough the couple is still married....one of their babies died. They are both young parents.

The Heart for Africa team feeds them....they put beds in their old abandoned garage. I got to see it. There was nothing in it but the bunk beds...some blankets but an old newspaper comic on the stone wall..no windows....no lights...no nothing. It was unspeakable..but yet they came out and hugged me..smiled at me. They showed me their report cards. The boy showed me" 1st in class" He was number one!

The girls didn't get report cards because they couldn't afford the school fees/taxes. So if they don't get those paid they may have to drop out. Girls are of no value here. They take care of the younger children. They have been living in this abandoned garage for several years. Do they cry? Do they complain? Do they whine like I do about not having enough finances in the bank? NO...they smile..they smile so big...they play.....they ate up the sandwiches so so so fast. They know when the Heart for Africa truck comes..it's a happy day. The plan is to do more of course...there are just thousands of children like them so it's just one day at a time. The children sing a song "My Heart is In Africa."

I know my God is in Africa...I know He loves me..I know He loves them...He cares so very much . I will have pictures soon. My heart is in Africa. I wish there was more we could do besides finances..we can pray. I went to the market today and prayed for healing for a pregnant woman..her husband died and she's scared. I prayed for Margaret who has diabetes who is now healed in Jesus name we pray. I prayed for Belinda who wants to go to school.
I know God hears.. I Know if you join me...it all counts..it all helps!

Thanks for listening..I could write for days....my heart is here..who would have thought it? Me? Diva.....the least likely girl to be hiking hills....doing laundry( not very well I mind you) gardening( with help from my kids here). It is my honor..my joy..to love on these children. They give me so very much more....I hope and pray I can pass it on..please keep praying..I think the hardest part in the world will be to come home.

Tonight we will be having a prayer meeting God told me to lead for the team. Some of them aren't saved yet but they are here.
Last night Ron and I did an impromptu comedy show for the team...LOL go figure:)

Ok..I'll stop...I really will stop writing now..I don't want to but I will!
Love,
Kerri

P.S. Do you want to see something amazing? The orphan kids have no toys..there are 65 in the home..they barely have food to eat..we prayed..we laid hands and prayed for provision..the next day..angels came....the US military..food...dolls...toys....ketchup (never had it)...the kids sang...I tried to join in! Later we had a dance off I showed them my 80's moves!

Ron Brings Christian Comedy To The World Famous Hollywood Improv For The First Time!

Kerri Performs - "The King of Clean" Michael Jr. to Headline. We're Asking Everyone to Show Your Support For Clean Comedy And Come To The Show on August 23 ! click here for more information

Cult of Personality- Facebook Friend or Foe?

I have a confession to make. I recently joined a cult. It’s called FACEBOOK! All the other members reading this (you know who you are) are laughing because you too have found yourself up at 4:00 am browsing profiles, adding glamour shots of yourself and most importantly checking out all the people that were mean to you in high school including your ex's. Facebook is the new "internet dating for married people!" Some say it's harmless! Some call it dangerous. I say it's a bit of both.
Facebook is a worldwide phenomenon where you can post a personal profile with all sorts of information about yourself and get in touch with everyone you ever did or didn't want to hear from in your past life -including high school. It seems to be a huge internet high school reunion where I find myself asking to be "friends" with the popular kids and crying myself to sleep if someone doesn't "confirm" my request asap!
Then there is the issue of people having the power to find that ex boy or girlfriend and see photos and updates with the click of the keyboard. You know you do it! You look at their new pictures and just pray they are either balder or fatter than you are! Then you can send personal messages that are private or write cute sayings on their "wall" that everyone can see. The point of this is really just a bunch of people wanting their exs to know two things:

1. I’m over you, well adjusted and still good looking. And when you look at my wonderful photo shopped family pictures you will curse the day you broke my heart and left me for that cheerleader.

2. I'm better than you!
There are even status updates where people write exactly what they are doing such as “Kerri is sitting here typing.” "Kerri ate an apple." But what Kerri really means is" Kerri is better than you are and wants you to validate her with some flirty comment on her wall about how fantastic she looks now!" Some people can keep this communication at the harmless stage. I think I'm one of them. I may be neurotic in my own mind but that’s where it stops. I don't cross the line and do my best to mention my husband and baby a lot in my emails to old flames.

I thought it was funny when my high school boyfriend literally looked me up and said "If you still think I suck you don't have to write back!" Well that was enough for me to know I made the right choice in moving on 15 years ago!

I believe it's in the spirit of how you're using this new millennium communication tool. One male married friend of mine canceled his account because he said it was "too easy to flirt" with ex's. At least he's honest and knew when it was getting to be too much. Because people treat flirting on email as if it somehow “doesn’t count!" But in my book it does. I just have to keep in mind that everything I say is literally in writing and can and will be used against me in the court of my "husband!" So I'm good to keep up with my status updates and posting fabulous pictures of me and my cute family in my skinny jeans!

Why I Still Watch Chick Flicks

When I was single I wrote a very empowering piece, or so I thought, titled Why I Don't Watch Chick Flicks basically explaining why they are bad for women. I expressed how they were hurting society by portraying relationships in a totally unrealistic way. They also caused me to go into a serious chocolate chip cookie binge late at night under the covers crying myself into a chocolate coma then drifting off to sleep only to dream of the leading man in the movie. When I was single, and pushing the dreaded age 30, I just couldn't find any reason to hope my life would turn out like Julia or Reese or worse yet Rene in the ever popular Bridget Jones movie! My heart goes out to women everywhere who watch these movies - where the girl always gets the guy. Why? Why ? Why do we do this ourselves? Real life never works itself out in 90 minutes and I myself have never been picked up by a guy in a horse drawn carriage, limousine or private jet.


However, I did fall in love with a guy who offered me chocolate chip cookies and had no car! I did get married and walk down the aisle in a rented pretty white dress. And to top it all off we had a little girl named Lucy join the crew last year. No it didn't take 90 minutes, it took 32 years!

But tonight after another long exhausting day of chasing my one year old, playing 15 games of don't eat that and folding 343 loads of laundry, I found myself engrossed in a rerun of You've Got Mail on Lifetime with my all time favorite Chick Flick actors Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. Yeah, I'm old school. Meg was the ultimate romantic and you just can't help but love her. At the end of the movie Tom and Meg find out that they really are meant to be together and when they embrace, I'm a goner. I can't help but notice I've got the same goose bumps I had the first time I saw this cheesy film and the same tear rolling down my left cheek. I'm just so darn happy for Meg because she was lonely and then she found her true love. She even used the dreaded internet. God bless her! We've all been there! I got rejected by E Harmony!

My point is that these movies can't be taken from the shelves because like it or not we need them. Yes I said it! We live in a bitter sarcastic world full of sickness, financial crisis and war. But some of us still want to believe in happy endings. Is that so wrong to admit? I grew up with fantasies of what would truly make my dreams come true. I marvel tonight at what true contentment really is.


I've just recently gone through a very tough time where the love of my life, my husband was battling an illness. I didn't have my cuddling time, my movie buddy, my best friend in my home for a while and it's brought new perspective to the term Happy Ending.

My life may look different than a Lifetime movie and instead of sound track music mine might have Hickory Dickory Dock and Itsy Bitsy Spider. And instead of passionate sex scenes my scenes may involve me, my husband, an entire season of Lost on DVD, popcorn and triple chocolate ice cream, cuddled up for hours on our big fluffy red couch. It's my realization that I don't want Tom Hanks or Tom Cruise. I'm truly content with the man God gave me. I'm truly happy with our little world as corny as it may seem to other people. It works for us.


So instead of watching Meg with bitterness in my heart I can enjoy her journey and realize I wouldn't trade places with her or any other woman for anything in the world. I have my own fairy tale right here every day of my life. So I'm wondering about you out there reading this? No matter what season you're in can you look around and be thankful for all the blessings in your life right now? A mom/dad/friend who loves you? A great job? A roommate who cooks? New shoes you got on sale that go with the skinny jeans you can actually fit into? A child that needs you to hug them goodnight? No matter what trials you're facing I'm challenging you to find some happy endings in your life right now. They make the Chick Flicks more enjoyable because the movies are imaginary and your joy is the real thing.

We're Going To Africa to Serve At An Orphanage And Need Your Help

Hi there,

As you may know part of my testimony has always been that when I gave my entire life over to God I knew He was going to "Ship me off to Africa or somewhere hot to do manual labor!" I've joked about this in my act for years and done many fundraisers to send others while I was safe and comfortable at home.

After reading a book about these orphans I felt God speak to me and said "It's time for you to roll up your sleeves and go!" I am not going as a comedian but simply as a mom, daughter and wife. I know I will get more out of this trip than I could ever give to these children. As I pondered leaving our sweet 1 yr old Lucy I was reminded that these children don’t have a mom or dad to hold them. I hope to go and love on these kids.

Ron and I need to raise $7950.00 to take this 10 day venture Aug 10th-21st. We need funds and we need prayer. This is unlike anything we've ever done and we're taking a step in faith to believe that if we're obedient that God will supply the funds.

Our first funding deadline is April 20th and then the 2nd is June 15th to raise approx. $5000 of the $7900 needed. This will cover our airfare and entire trip cost. If you want to help us by giving $10, $20 or any amount to reach our goal we'd be so grateful.

We're going with www.heartforafrica.org an organization that goes and takes children off the streets and gives them a place to live, grow up and be loved. These are real kids and when I read Janine's book "It's Not Ok With Me" I realized I couldn't just do nothing. There are some awesome videos on this link http://www.heartforafrica.org/video.htm. If they speak to your heart I'm asking that you send Ron and I as your representative of Christ's love to the little ones. Maybe you will be inspired to go yourself? This whole thing is about God and not us. So we're writing this and taking a step back to see how God will work. We know times are tough. All we can ask is that you pray and seek God. That's what we did and He told us to write this letter.

Thanks for taking your time to read this. Thanks for praying for our family and our ministry. Maybe there are some future comedian children over there who can teach us a few things?

Love,
Kerri Pomarolli McGehee

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Greetings from Ron!

I know most emails & letters you get about Africa usually involve some really banished royalty, wire transfers, your personal bank account numbers, and a reward for your good deed. This is not one of those letters.

I have been introduced to the great need for orphans who, some, literally watched their parents wither away and die right before their young eyes. My wife, Kerri, and I prayed and we both received word from God that we need to go to Africa. We have been part of many fund raising efforts for missions, but now we are the ones going.

As you know we love to spread laughter and joy wherever God sends us. This is where you come in. We need to raise money to go on this trip. We know we are in tough financial times, but when giving as one gives to the Lord in faith, you will be rewarded.

You won't be helping African royalty, we don't want your bank account number, but we do want your support. Please give even if it is a small amount, because every little bit helps. And please don't forget our prayer support as well. We will be sending pictures and updates as much as we are able. For all the miracles that will happen are yours to share in glorifying God.

God Bless you & Keep you,
Ron McGehee

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You can support us financially in one of three ways:
1. Mail your check and the form linked on the homepage to Heart for Africa at Heart for Africa, P.O. Box 573, Alpharetta, GA 30009.
2. Go to www.heartforafrica.org to donate with your credit card
3. Call (800) 901-7585 to donate with your credit card by phone

Please keep in mind that this donation must be received by July 5th 2009. Your gift will be applied towards my trip and you will receive a tax receipt. Please use our participant code #7001442 when you give.

Thank you for your support!

Red Rock Rave Review

Hey guys! I recently performed at Red Rock, one of my favorite L.A. secular comedy clubs. It's a hot room and they always have some of the top secular headliners in the country. It's my ministry to go there and do clean, God honoring comedy and also be open about my faith in a fun way. I got so nervous because of all nights the comedy seemed dirtier than normal. The girl who performed right before me was the winner of "Last Comic Standing." She was hilarious and the crowd was going nuts. My good friend Andy Kozel was performing as well. I prayed a lot that night, praying I'd bring the Holy Spirit with me on stage. I even had a conversation with producer Matty Balaker that my friends were praying. Finally it was my turn, followed by a wonderful intro from Matty, "Kerri is not only one of my favorite comics but one of my favorite people", I took the mic. God Blessed me. I felt really good about my set. I was the only clean comic and even talked about being Christian. The audience had already been conditioned with dirty jokes but when I did my act they responded with laughter. I felt so Blessed by God and that he again used me in Hollywood right there on Sunset Blvd. I had some friends in the audience and I knew that they had also been praying for me - and for the crowd.

This review came out on www.livecomedyla.com by Brendon Malvihill, who isn't a comedian but reviews the best comedy shows in Hollywood. It means a lot to me that he sees clean comedy can be just as funny. Please read his review (linked below) of our March 3rd show and write a comment supporting clean comedy. I would really appreciate that! It's all about going where God leads us, one show at a time. It's just fun for me to know God may have us in a comedy club, preaching his message and doing an alter call on Sunset Blvd next!

Kerri Delivers and Receives Rave Review at Red Rock's Ballgame Laugh Lounge in Hollywood